A-U-T-I-S-M .... how it changes everything...

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Today ............. I officially became..........

Isn't it amazing how one word can change your whole world.  Don't get me wrong.... I mean, we've been expecting this for the last 6 months, questioning it for about half of Nathan's life.   About 18 months ago, we suddenly realized that the the funny spinning he does, the hiding in whatever small space he can find... wasn't just him being cute.... that.... his lack of eye contact at times wasn't just him being shy.... that his needing a routine was more then comfort, and that his melt downs were more then just temper tantrums ...

It was obvious to me, even if he didn't have "classic autism" he was somewhere on the spectrum.

It was OBVIOUS .......

And we've spent time just hoping we were wrong........... but knowing, deep deep down .... that it was right....  it fit....

A couple days ago, we were at the DR and he laid down on his back and just started to spin around in circles .....

He melts down, he needs to be wrapped up in his blanket or my blanket and held real tight and he'll calm down, he folds over when he's uncomfortable....... like this ...

Which is what he was doing today, along with being held in his blanket....

Today ... it became official... he is on the low end of the spectrum but he does have PDD .... Nathan has officially been diagnosed with Autism and ......... even though it was expected, it crushed my heart....