June 2022 Update ....

.

Well HELLOOOOOO there ...

It has been a LOOOOOOOOONG time .... 

days .... months .... years .....   [gasp]

It's been awhile ...  I mean, yeah.   There hasn't been a whole lot "medically" going on.  Both Noah and Nathan are relatively stable in most to all areas of their care and we're doing well for the most part.  Which I am beyond THANKFUL for.  Because there were times ... 

And COVID happened.   We literally just holed ourselves into the apartment and bunkered down.  Might have invested in learning smoke signals and carrier pigeons too, but ... luckily, it didn't come to that. We survived the 2020 Toilet Paper shortage.  

We did, as a whole family, caught COVID in January (of 2022).  We escaped it for a long time.

Noah is 20 now ....  oh holy crap.  He's out of his teens, full on adult mode .... only nothing has changed.  LOL ....  

Noah's big news is he has a girlfriend!  She seems to have developmental delays too and that causes some confusion between them sometimes.  But she brings out some great things in Noah.  And they are both learning a lot - not only about each other, but also together.  He name is Melanie.  They have been together for 18 months now.  

We're still treating his juvenile glaucoma and his muscle pain/issues still heavily exist.  Of course his physical stuff doesn't go away and his Mosaic Trisomy 16 will never go away.  But Noah is doing really well and I'm so at ease with it.  I don't have to really worry about him.  The doctor actually told me that ....  I don't need to live by the whole ....  "anything could happy any day and we could lose him" motto....  doctor said, "I think it would have happened by now" ... and the only thing that I really worry about is his glaucoma and his kidney(s) .... 

His pain is just something he's used to and we deal with.  

So I want to mention that he's about 100 lbs now and his max height is 5 foot even...  he's not growing anymore.  He hasn't for a couple years. 

Also, Noah has no desire to drive.  Just the thought of it makes him anxious.   Maybe one day he'll push through that and realize the independence is amazing, but for now, we take things at his pace. 

Nathan is 15 now.  WOW ...  this kid amazes me too.  I can't believe he is 15.

We just had an appointment with his doctor and he weighs a whopping 65 lbs.  He is 4 foot 8 1/2 inches.  The parameters for "Primordial Dwarfism" is 4 foot 10 inches or less and I really don't think that he's going to get to be 5 foot 11 inches so .....  [sigh] ...  

The scariest bit is that he has 3 upcoming surgeries.  One is this Tuesday (the 21st) and I am terrified.  Don't tell Nathan that though.  This surgery is for his VPI and so they are going to go in and try to correct some of the structure that didn't develop properly in his throat and mouth.  The hope is that when it heals he'll be able to communicate better/speech won't be so hard for him.  There is no guarantee at all and because of that - this surgery was left totally 100% up to the boy who'd have to go through it.  And he wants it done.  In fact about 6 months ago, he asked me about it.  So yeah ....  he wants to do it and he wants it to work and I want nothing more then for it to work.  

However, as his Momma, I am terrified.  Last time we talked about this surgery - the doctor made a comment that if we did the surgery, he would die because his airway was too small.... 

.... of course this was years ago, and he's bigger and his airway isn't as small ... and it's the same doctor so I think if he felt there was going to be the same risk, he wouldn't do it ... 

BUT STILL .... dammit ... . it's still there in my brain.  

AND THEN add the fact that last time he was in the hospital he almost died and I just can't ... 

..... AND I am doing this as a single parent now because my "husband" left 3 years ago ...  oh yeah....  

Hi. My name is Annissa and I'm getting a divorce.  

Is there a prize for that? 

The prize is not being in a relationship that apparently one person thought sucked so much that they had to run away screaming ....  ha ha ha .... he didn't.  He just loved me so much he decided he needed to ...  whatever.  You know my sarcasm is one of the reasons he left....  

ENNNNNeeeyyyyway

I am used to being part of a team when Nathan has surgery - and having someone who helps to keep me solid and not let the anxiety take hold.  I won't have that. Not to mention his dad would always carry him into the O.R. and it's just going to be weird ....  

........  weird.   

And last time he was in the hospital was May 2015 when he almost died.  It's not okay. I don't need to think of that either.   

Let's all promise to keep me in check and not allow me to burst into tears.  MmmmmK? So yeah.  I'm trying to be okay but I'm not okay.  

So I will be updating.  

I spent some of today trying to figure out all the stuffz I gotta pack and take.   Wish me luck.