For those of you who are not familiar with Noah's story, my one pound twelve ounce miracle born with a rare genetic disorder, who I was told wouldn't survive pregnancy ... you can find his Pregnancy And Birth Story on this blog, and you can also go to my other blog and read an article I wrote about him called AGAINST THE ODDS which is also featured on the Be Not Afraid Website (to get to it you click on STORIES and then TRISOMIES AND OTHER RARE MOSIACISMS and then on AGAINST THE ODDS it will look like this ... (I removed the writing other then the menu)
Then you should see ....
Anyway ... Noah has had a birth mark on the side of his head since birth... (duh it's a BIRTH mark) he also had port wine stains on his face. Nathan had the port wine stains also. Anyway - I noticed rather recently that the center of his previously flat oval birth mark (about 1 cm by 1 1/2 cm) has risen in the middle ... this is my sad attempts of trying to get it in picture
So being stupid I looked up skin cancer...
- A is for asymmetry. One half of the mole or skin growth doesn't match the other half.
- B is for border irregularity. The edges are ragged, notched, or blurred.
- C is for color. The pigmentation is not uniform. Shades of tan, brown, and black are present. Dashes of red, white, and blue add to the mottled appearance. Changes in color distribution, especially the spread of color from the edge of a mole into the surrounding skin, also are an early sign of melanoma.
- D is for diameter. The mole or skin growth is larger than 6mm or about the size of a pencil eraser. Any growth of a mole should be of concern.
- Elevation, such as thickening or raising of a previously flat mole.
- Surface, such as scaling, erosion, oozing, bleeding, or crusting.
- Surrounding skin, such as redness, swelling, or small new patches of color around a larger lesion (satellite pigmentations).
- Sensation, such as itching, tingling, or burning.
- Consistency, such as softening or small pieces that break off easily (friability).
And wasn't happy.
Stupid. I've already made an appointment and all that will happen is he'll be referred to a dermatologist and from there who knows - I know there will be a biopsy in the future which will be the end of Noah's world (because he's terrified of anything DR related). I am really scared. The places we know where his disorder is, one of them is his skin. The philosophy we have to live by, anything can happen at any time with any organ... it's in his skin. I'm scared. I'm trying SO HARD not to think about it.
So I ask you - if you pray, PLEASE pray. If you don't, do whatever you do. Positive thoughts... nothing but good news where this is concerned. It's bad enough one of my best friends is waiting for biopsy results. It's bad enough I went through a leukemia scare with Calahan when he was 2. Now I'm having nightmares that something is going on in my miracle man.
I got too comfortable with everything, I started to only think about it really when he got sick. I started to only have the panic attacks when he got sick. Now - I'm trying not to think about it and I'm trying to be positive. But I can't push away the fear.